


Secrets

by Biophilia



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Character Development, Drama, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Flashbacks, Gun Violence, Jacks' Potty Mouth, Long-Term Relationship(s), Mass Effect - Freeform, Other, Slow Burn, long fic, space lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2019-10-17 06:25:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17555069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Biophilia/pseuds/Biophilia
Summary: Unfortunately, Jack didn't find out about Pragia from the files Shepard gave her. A certain asari held that information, and being a spy aboard the Normandy didn't sound that bad. Until the feelings set in. Jack/Liara fic.





	1. Lonely Pirate

“Shepard can't know, Jack.”

That was what she said to me.  
I watched her from the bed as she zipped up her jacket and walked out into the dark streets of Omega. The door slid shut behind her. I heard a siren blaring in the distance.

I'm without her presence again. A rush of worry hits me to think of her walking the alleyways alone, but I push it aside. It's dangerous here, but everyone knows better than to mess with us. Everyone knows I'm crazy. Whispered voices; “Don't mess with Jack, she'll fuck you up. She'll crush you with, like, her brain or something.” Then again, Liara is a powerful biotic in her own right. It's not like I have to worry about her after she leaves our place or anything. 'Our place' being wherever we decide to hook up. 

 

Not to mention she knows...well, everything. It's almost scary. Sometimes, when we're laying in bed, and I'm holding her face in my hands, I find myself amazed by her outright intelligence. Her mind, always moving a thousand miles a second. I could never be like that. But then, I didn't exactly have the luxury of a top-notch education. My mind trails back to my room at the Cerberus facility and my stomach clenches. No, come back. Fuck that place. You're here now.

 

She didn't even kiss me goodbye. It's because of what I asked her. It's why she was upset. Why the mood shifted so violently.

An Hour Earlier: 

We were enjoying our post-orgasm buzz, and I was looking at her wrapped up in my arms. Gorgeous blue skin, glowing in the dirty orange city lights seeping through the window. So pure-looking in contrast to my inky, scarred skin. Her freckled breasts, half covered by dirty grey sheets. Trailing her thin fingers along my tattoos, sliding up my stomach, lingering over one of my favorites. In memory of my first big kill when I escaped the facility, the door guard. That was a good one. 

Slowly running her hand over my buzzed hair. She loves the feeling of it. Hair, I mean. Asari are so smooth. I'd seen naked asari before, in porn vids and art and shit, but the first time we fucked I was still surprised.

 

I slid the sheets down a bit so I could see more of her. I can't help being a lech sometimes, and her tits are amazing. She shifts her form towards me, and slides my hands up to her breasts. Big blue eyes look up at me as her hands begin to move down my body, fingers ready to slide into my still wet pussy. I felt a rush of emotion, unfamiliar to me. And the question I'd been stewing over for months spilled out of my mouth.

 

“Hey, why don't you really take a room on the Normandy? It's not because of me or some shit, right?” She doesn't say anything for a moment, as if wanting to delete this conversation before it starts.  
“You know I can't do that, Jack.” her voice wasn't coddling, it was determined, and very much done with the topic. But I wasn't.  
“C'mon. It's a huge fucking ship, you could do your work from there. And we're killing so many Collectors and shit. You could get your info firsthand...and slip down to deck 4 whenever you wanted me. And hey, I'm sure Shepard wouldn't mind having you around again. She'd get it.” 

 

Mistake. Her whole body tensed, and the atmosphere changed. She slowly pulled herself away from me and got up, wrapping the sheet around her body like a towel, and began to look for her clothes. She can still be so shy.

 

“Blue, come on.” I sat up, unashamed of my nakedness, and pulled a glass of water into my hand with biotics. “Why do you get so messed up when I wanna talk about that shit? It'd make it all way easier.” 

She cocked her head to the side, throwing up the steely, emotionless mask that she always used to wear. “I do not get 'messed up'. You know I cannot leave my job right now, not for that long of a time. I am still hunting for my friend. There's so much to do. I can't even speak to you in confidence unless we meet in person, you know that. I wish I could make it so that this was different, and I could join you. But I can't. Not until my work is done.” 

 

She'd found her clothes. Suddenly I was struck with a pang of desperation. I didn't want her to leave. I moved to the edge of the bed. “Shepard keeps dicking around, she's all busy with her big plans, being a fuckin' girl scout. Let me help you find your friend. We'd kick all kinds of ass.” The shrillness in my voice made me wince.

 

Like a flash she turned to me, her modesty sheet thrown away, a powerful biotic force emitting from her body like a blue aura. Naked, powerful, and full of a fury I hadn't seen in a while. I suddenly remembered a picture I saw in a Drell book once of the Goddess of war, Arashu. Shit. 

Her voice rose high, “Please Jack! Do you have any idea what I'm going through? Do not do this to me! Aren't you the one who said in the first place, sex with no questions! Goddess, let me be.” 

 

I would never let someone know that I'm hurt. It's letting people in, it's being weak. But I felt like human garbage. I forced a smirk, but the pain and anger came through in my voice. “It's because you don't want Shepard to know, right? You're afraid of her knowing that we fuck, because you're in love with her. I'm not fuckin' stupid!” My biotic amp was buzzing, and I slammed the glass I was holding into the wall next to her. Not near enough to hurt her. When did I turn soft? 

She fell into a chair near the door, suddenly weak and tired, like all her energy had been sucked up into space. “I am sorry. That was cruel of me. I have been...very tired lately.” A sigh. She covered herself again, and began to dress. “As for what you said, I don't wish to speak of it. That is very personal and I am not...I'm not ready to discuss it with you. Forgive me.” 

I laid back down, tried to keep my voice chill. “Yep. It's okay, Blue. I getcha. Guess we should split, sure you got things to do, and I got shit to kill. Listen. I won't say anything to the girl scout for now, okay? I swear.”

She was walking towards the door, dressed, cool, and already checking her omni-tool. I could see from my spot on the bed that she'd gotten over a thousand notifications just since last night. 

“Shepard can't know, Jack.” 

And she was gone. And here I am.

The sudden emptiness of the room crushes down on me. The pipes on the ceiling buzz quietly, and the thin blanket is still warm from where she was just a few minutes ago. I'm getting pretty fucking sick of empty rooms.

Take a breath. Remember who you are. I rub my eyes and get up slowly from the bed. Cracking my aching neck, body still sore from the last mission. Finding my clothes on the filthy floor, I give 'em a shake and slide into my pants and tank top. Kelly Chambers had left it on my bunk after the shit went down on Pragia, and I'd never tell her, but I think it's pretty cool. “What, you telling me what to fuckin' wear now, bitch?” I'd said to her. She had cowered slightly, hiding her face behind her datapad as I walked by. I love scaring those Cerberus cunts. 

The sheet that Liara had been using catches my eye, laying on the chair in the corner. Without thinking, I grab it and bring it to my face. Inhale. I see her face in my mind, and my heart beats quicker. Exhale. Am I obsessing? This is fine, right? Fuck.

I'm just slipping on my combat boots when my console blinks at me. It's EDI, my shore leave is up. Well, shit. Looks like I'm gonna be pulling in late again.

I step out of the small room Liara had rented for us to stay in last night. My eyes squint to adjust to the changing lights, and the stench hits me like a wall. I've almost gotten used to the smell of Omega. Piss, poverty, and despair. 

I turn into an alley heading towards the markets, and almost trip over a heavily scarred batarian laying in a pool of his own vomit. “Please, help me. Something is wrong, I'm sick. I need help.” he rasps out, choking on his own bile.  
“Fuck off, asshole. I'm busy.” I spit the words at him, sidestepping his form and checking my console for the nearest shuttle service. “Human scum. Filthy human bitch.” He chokes on his curse, and for a good moment I contemplate slamming him into the wall, strangling him, watching him die. But my console says there's a rental nearby, and I just make my way. No need to get the attention of Aria's lackeys. 

 

The shuttle ride is a boring forty-five minutes in complete silence with some salarian trying to do his paperwork and fly at the same time. He keeps throwing all these scared glances over to me, like I'm gonna whip out a gun and end his short life. Yeah well, lucky for you, I'm not in the mood to go pirate today. Especially not in this piece of shit.


	2. The Call

As soon as I'm through the Normandy's airlock, Miranda is standing in front of me. 

“Where have you been? We have missions that require a full team. We can't stand around waiting for you to come back from doing god knows what. You have to take more responsibility for yourself, and as Commander Shepard's second in command I have the authority to prohibit your shore leave.” 

She's barking in my face, so close I can smell her makeup. “Just try it, cheerleader. I don't work for Cerberus.” I move in even further, push my chest up to hers, so close I can feel her breath. Warm minty puffs hitting my skin. This bitch is a human air freshener. “Or hey, maybe you want me to show you what I did to the last whore that tried to fuck with me?” 

Her momentary shocked expression makes my skin prickle. One boosted punch in the gut right now, she'd be down. Boot to the head from there, I could destroy her. She's open, her guard is down. Her mouth opens slightly to voice a reply, but a harsh whisper on our left breaks the moment.

“Uh, EDI are you getting this? Please, please tell me you have this on camera.” I whip around and give Joker a look that could break his fragile bones. EDI pulses quietly and responds “Mr. Moreau, shall I upload this new footage to your 'Operative Lawson', or 'Jack' folder?” 

A beat of silence. Joker looks mortified, quickly pulling his cap over his red face. It hits me that Miranda's tits are suspiciously firm. This whole ship is insane. “Fuck you, cheerleader. I'll be in my room if Shepard needs me to smash some heads.” I pull away and spit on the floor at her feet. I stomp down the bridge towards the elevator, ignoring all of the terrified glances coming my way. Behind me I hear Miranda muttering, “Ha, 'her room'. Such as it is.” 

I scramble down the stairway and take a running jump onto my bunk, immediately lost in thought. What the hell am I doing here? This is the last place I ever thought I'd be. Surrounded by freaks, going after a race I'd never even heard of, spying on an entire fucking Cerberus ship. Just thinking about it makes my head buzz. Too many thoughts. Makes my trigger finger itchy. 

I hit my head with my hands and shudder. You know what, Jack? Screw all that. I'm just going to keep doing my own thing, and live to tell the tale. It's what I do. And maybe... I look around to make sure I'm alone, and pick one of the datapads off the floor near my bunk. The screen lights up and there she is. My only picture of Liara. 

She's looking slightly to the side, beautiful white light hitting her face, making her eyes shine and her skin glow. Blue scalp trailing down just to the cuff of her white collar, dark blue lipstick adorning that shy half smile that she makes only for me. Only for me. My heart beats quicker. That's what I want the most. When the hell did that happen? Since when am I a homo, and lusting after a damn asari? What scares me is that it's become more than just lust. I promised myself, never again. I'll never ever feel...I can't even say the word. I don't want to. It hasn't even been that long since we met.

 

\---

8 Months Earlier

 

I was fresh off the boat, hadn't been out of Purgatory for more than three or four days. Still wasn't used to being on the Normandy. I was hunkered down below engineering, obsessively reading through all of the hundreds of files Cerberus had on me. Progressively getting more and more frustrated by the lack of information about the facility where I came from. 

That's when it happened. A small burst of white light, some numbers on the screen, and suddenly some asari's face had taken up my whole datapad. She must have hacked through all of their fancy firewalls for a private console call. I blinked, staring at this new face on my screen. “Hey. Who the fuck are you?” was all I could think to say.   
She looked icy for someone so young. Couldn't be anything older than maiden stage.   
The new face stared at me for a moment longer and then proceeded to speak, voice as cold as her stare. “Hello, Subject Zero. My name is Liara T'Soni. I would very much like to speak with you in person. My sources say the Normandy will be docking at the Citadel in two days time. I have a private room near the Dark Star lounge. Would you care to meet me there, let's say at 02:00 hours?” 

 

I sat there staring at her in silence for a beat, angrily trying to decide if I should smash the screen into a million pieces or not. I chose not to, instead I spat out “First of all, my name is Jack. Not 'Subject Zero'. What the hell do you want? The hell you want to meet me for? You some sort of merc recruiter? And what fucking 'sources' are you talking about?”   
She smiled ever so slightly, and it only pissed me off more. Then coldly, eloquently, she spoke again. “My apologies, Jack. I did not know which name you preferred. I am afraid I cannot discuss my sources, at least not on this channel.” 

 

My eyes darted past her as she spoke, trying to figure out what kind of place she was calling from. Some sort of office? I saw some weird art on the wall, a large desk, no real clues. She noticed me looking and moved in closer as she continued. “I served under Commander Shepard in her hunt to take down Saren and Sovereign. I am familiar with the Normandy, the Alliance, and now Cerberus, though I do not work for any of them. I am an information broker. I feel like we each have information that the other could use. I would simply like to meet with you and discuss. I promise, there will be no harm come to you. You may come armed, should it make you feel better, though I won't be. I am not afraid of you.”

We looked at each other for a moment, I was trying to size her up, understand what she was truly asking. Is she an asari commando or something? But she's so calm and corporate. Something made my skin crawl. Liara T'Soni. Hadn't I heard that name somewhere before? Garrus and Tali, the old war stories from the original ship. They spoke that name during chow time. Was she on the original team? 

“What is it exactly that you know? What info do you think I need?”   
Her mouth moved upwards slightly, but she spoke with no malice. “I assume Shepard has given you access to your Cerberus files, and you've been looking for information on your childhood facility. Unfortunately, those files were destroyed shortly after you escaped. Surely you have noticed the missing bits here and there?” I just stared at her. I couldn't believe it. This bitch. She smiled again and went on, “Fortunately for you, I have a bad habit of collecting all the information I can on Cerberus. I know where the facility you came from is, Jack.” 

 

My amp was buzzing. I wanted to kill her. I needed to kill something. A frustrated scream escaped my mouth. I began pacing the room, datapad in tow, “Fuck! Fuck you!”  
She spoke again, softly. That prickling feeling again.   
“As I have said, I will provide this information to you, no charge. All I ask is a favor in return.” Her eyes went slightly darker, more intense. “Ease your mind. And Jack, whatever you do, do not tell a soul. Especially Shepard, she... cannot know. Our business is private. I will have someone waiting for you at Dark Star lounge at our specified time. They will escort you safely to my room. Thank you very much for your time, Jack. I will see you soon.”

A soft beep, and her face went away. My files loaded back up. But what's the point now? What I need isn't here. All of Shepard's fake kindness for nothing at all. Some damned asari out there has my file.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next several chapters of this fic will be looking back on Jacks' meetings with Liara, her place on the ship, and focusing on their time together and how their relationship grew into what we've previously seen. Once again, feedback and any constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.


	3. Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack has a quick drink and meets Liara for the first time.

8 Months Earlier 

 

Looking back on it now, I must've looked pretty messed up sitting at that bar. Usually I love bars. The music, the bass, the drinks, the lights, it makes my nerves light up and I feel alive. But I wasn't going to be dancing tonight. I swiveled 'round in my stool and cased the room, looking for someone dangerous. Who's the kinda person that an info broker hires? Krogan? Someone that could pack some heat, definitely. There's so many people and species' here, and too dark to make anyone out. I scratched my nails against the slick surface of the counter and tried to feel the music.

The turian bartender walked over to me, glass in hand. “Nice ink. Can I get you anything?” I threw a few credits on the table. “Give me three shots of the strongest shit you have.” Not enough to make me stupid, just enough to calm my nerves. I've been through a lot, but always steered clear of people like this woman. I gotta keep cool. He chuckled a little, “Sure thing.” I downed them as fast as he could pour them. Some kinda thick green liquid, and a big burn as it goes down, but it did the trick. I winked at him. “Keep the change”. His mandibles lifted slightly, a smile. I suddenly felt a presence behind me. I whipped around, ready to meet whatever creature she had sent to fetch me.

“This one is humbled to make your esteemed acquaintance.” It's...a hanar. “If the esteemed Jack would be so kind as to follow this one, we will make our way.” He pulsed politely, and began floating gracefully through the sea of dancers, towards the bar exit. 

I followed him as fast as I could, mind racing. A fucking hanar? Hell. They can't even hold guns. Who is this person? She's gotta be intentionally trying to look like a weak bitch. Or trying to not make me angry. Maybe both. I was practically running to keep up with him now, the jelly knew how to move that's for sure. Countless turns and hallways. The music and laughing voices fell away, until there was only the echoing sound of my boots against the marble floors. We were going deep into the quiet business section of the ward, a place I'd never seen before. 

When he stopped suddenly I almost ran into him. I took a quick glance around. A long white hallway, several doors scattered throughout, no numbers, no markings. 

“This one appreciates your patience. Dr. T'Soni is awaiting you inside this room. This one is humbled to have been at your service. Farewell.” He gave a slight bow, and floated off down the hall.   
I was almost sad to see him go. The calming energy the hanar gave off was gone, and now it was just me and the door. I ran my hands over my face and rubbed my eyes hard. Let's do it.

 

I didn't knock. Just threw the door open and stomped inside, slamming it hard behind me. My first impression of the room was that this is not the office from the vid-call. It was a little too dark. There were a few monitors on the wall, a small but well stocked bar, a bed, a white couch, and another door leading to...a toilet maybe? Blueish light seeped from the monitors, which displayed an image of the milky way. Seated on the couch was the asari.

 

She was reading from three different datapads, copying whatever she'd found onto her omni-tool. She looked up, not fazed at all by the slammed door. “Jack. So nice to meet you.” She set the datapads on the floor and walked over to me, extending a hand. “I'm Liara T'Soni, though technically we have met already. Thank you for coming.” I ignored her hand and crossed my arms in front of my chest. She retracted without missing a beat and said “Please, come sit. Let's get straight to business.” 

She made her way back to the sofa and sat down a little less elegantly than I'd expect. Alright. What's the worst she can do to me? I strode over and flopped down on the far end of the sofa, legs extended, making sure to get my boots all over her couch. I looked her up and down, sizing her up.

She was wearing no makeup, and her face was even prettier and younger looking in person. Big blue eyes. Sky colored skin and scalp, smooth and symmetrical, and I could see tiny freckles around her cheeks and nose. She was wearing a tight white suit and boots, with a long navy trench coat. My survival instincts were telling me that she's not armed, but the coat made it tough to tell.

I suddenly realized that she was eyeing me too. The buzzed hair, inked on makeup, scabbed knuckles, the nip straps under my leather vest. I slowly brought my hand up and scratched my cheek with my middle finger, causing her to smile for an instant, a flicker of real emotion. I didn't know what to feel about that smile. I cleared my throat.

“A hanar, huh? Trying to be funny?”

She chuckled slightly. “No, of course not. Some of my best employees are hanars. They're polite, concise, and trustworthy...most of the time. And people pay far less attention to them then you'd expect. Good listeners.”

I nodded, makes sense. She's good at what she does. I need to watch myself.  
“Gotcha. So, why are we here? I need that data.” I tried to say it as detached as I could, making a point not to ask where she got it. 

She folded her hands as she spoke. “First of all, since I know you are curious. I got the information from a Cerberus operative who had gone rogue. He made the mistake of trying to double-cross me, and it did not end well for him. It was not the most valuable bit of info I got from his corpse, but definitely the most interesting.”

I guess my surprise showed on my face. She kills people herself, doesn't hire people to do it. She looked me in the eye and smiled again. “Biotics do come in handy, don't they?” Her voice made a little shiver run up my back. “Yep.” I looked up at the monitors, mostly to avoid her stare. Felt like it was piercing right through me. 

Her voice reverted back to a calm, corporate tone as she went on. “Back to the topic of what I need from you. As you know, my job requires me to have constantly updated information. I must always know who's where and what's what. Often times, I have a trusted source on the inside, feeding me the information, listening in, observing. The new Normandy was built from the ground up by Cerberus, and it has been extremely difficult for me to receive any hard data about what goes on inside of it. I need to know what is happening, how it is run. I need a source, someone I can trust. I would like for that source to be you, Jack.”

My mouth apparently lost the connection with my brain. Alarms were going off inside me. This bitch is crazy. She's going to get me killed. I forced a laugh, “Why me? I just got outta prison, I'm not lookin' to go back.”

She was looking at my face intently, trying to gauge my reaction, “You are special. You are the only one aboard that ship who has no previous connection to Shepard, who has been personally victimized by Cerberus, and who has no stake in this mission. And yet, there you are, on the ship. I ask you, why not? You would receive the information you need, to do with as you wish, and I would be receiving daily reports from you, only until the mission is over. After that you needn't ever see or speak to me again, should you so wish.” Her voice lowered, her eyes flashing a deeper blue. “Also, Jack... I am sure it is not lost on you that this would be a small attack on Cerberus, on your part.” My brain was reeling, trying to absorb it all. I brought my legs up to my chest.

 

“Why don't you just get your fuckin' info from Shepard? If you guys are such great pals.” I noticed my voice was a little less sharp than usual. Obviously irritated by the question, she waved her hand and went on “Shepard knows of my newfound profession, but has little patience for it. She is busy trying to save the galaxy, as she does. She will always be my dearest friend, but she is working with Cerberus now. She would not know of our business. We would allow her to believe that you had found what you needed in the files she'd provided for you.”

All of my exposed skin had erupted in goosebumps. One overwhelming thought made it's way to the front of my head, and my eyes met hers.  
“Do you hate Cerberus too?”   
She raised her chin up slightly in defiance, a girlish gesture that struck me in a weird way. “Yes. By the Goddess, absolutely.” she said.  
I looked at the ground and felt myself nodding. My brain felt like static and white noise, but my instincts had already made the choice for me.  
“I'll do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait between this chapter and the last. Getting back into it now. Feedback is appreciated always. :D

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've ever written. Any feedback or criticism is greatly appreciated. I love these girls and want to do right by them. Not sure quite how long this is going to go on for, but I'll see it through to the end. Will probably update every one or two weeks. Thank you for reading.


End file.
